The Winds of Change

As the winds of change come upon our family, I sit here reflecting over the past 15 years and the life my husband and I have lived together and apart.

I was just listening to the Keith Urban song, For You, from the movie Act of Valor, for me it is a very moving and emotional song. If you have ever had a family member in the military you should understand what I mean when you listen to the lyrics.  It brings back the reality that my husband would have (and still would) given his life for his God, Country and Family, so now as he changes jobs and sends our life into a tail spin, I try to find my balance.

Chris soon will be leaving the Department of Veteran Affairs,VBA and taking a new job with The Wounded Warrior Project.   This does not take him away from helping Veteran's, it just gets him out of the office environment and into the direct lives of the many wounded service members and their families. This new job will take him to Pittsburgh, PA., but his heart and anchor will always be here, with us, in Lockport, NY.

As I look back, I  am transported to where we have been, what obstacles we have overcome and how we have grown into a solid family unit.  I also am reminded of his love - for his military family, myself, our five children and grandson; his faith - that with God all things are possible, as well as witnessing first hand, that light in his eyes when he talks of being used as a catalyst to change a veterans life; It is then that I remember how to balance.  So as our family sets sail, please keep us in your prayers.

~Beth

Sacrifice

“In this world it is not what we take up, but what we give up, that makes us rich.” 

~Henry Ward Beecher

Sacrifice …that is the word that keeps popping up in my mind since Saturday.   Sacrifice=Love….is that right?

Sacrifice is what I do as a mom, wife, daughter and sister everyday.  Sometimes I don’t mind doing what I do, because I know that is the job I’ve chosen, but there are days in wish I could take a break and live like the dreams in my mind think I should be living…you know the ones where you get to escape to a Cape Cod retreat, walking on the beach, listening to the ocean roar, or the one where you find a passion and live life with more zeal and purpose. 

Yes…I know I have a purpose…I would do anything for my family…I would push them out of the way of a bus if I had too… I just ….insert sigh…get board and need a new perspective I guess.  

       I know, I sound terrible...selfish...like a stupid board housewife... woe is me...maybe its the winter blues talking...maybe its the mid-life doldrums... maybe its just the feeling of being undervalued by my kids and husband...maybe its peri-menopause (and I would like to pause!!!)I don’t know...hasn’t anyone else ever felt this way? 

~Beth

Welcome 2012

....the New Year....what thoughts does that bring to you?

...a do over?
...actions that you would like to take to make
 a change in your life, big or small?
...get bills paid off?
...never look back...move forward from a bad relationship?
...spend more time with family?

the list could go on and on!

I look at this New Year with bright eyes and new visions for my life. Here is my list of hopeful new beginnings for 2012:
FINANCES:
1. Pay off 3 to 4 credit cards
2. cut all credit cards up and stop charging ...only buy if you have the cash.
HEALTH:
3. exercise regularly, slim down, eat healthy.
4. practice more patience & gratitude toward myself, my family and others.
5. meditate and pray more.
FAMILY:
6. Slow down and realize what blessing are right in front of me, no need to look else where for
  gratification. Stay in the present moment.
ME:
7. read more.
8. take more pictures.
9. learn 2 new things about my camera.

WORD OF THE YEAR:
10.  BALANCE  --finances, health, family life and me.


it seems like a long list...but several are very do able and if I accomplish at least 3 of these I will be happy with myself. Now that my list is out there and I can be held accountable because they are written down...what about you?

Wishing you all the best in 2012!

~Beth

copyright for 2012 image--found it under YAHOO.com image search.

HEALING

Lately I have been feeling ...

drained...exhausted...depleted of all energy,

Wishing that I could run a way to a healing spa in a 

much warmer climate!

...but since that is not an option for me,

here I sit pondering my post on healing and 

wondering how can I can pull a little healing into

my current situation.

I find it so easy to see

or hear the negative, 

to believe the negative thoughts and feeling 

my mind generates,

I also

keep seeing quotes like: 

“Life is too short

to spend time 

with people 

who suck the 

happiness 

out of you.”

&

“I am thankful for the 

difficult people in my 

life. The have shown

me exactly who I

do not want to be.”

&

“If your presence can’t

add value to my LIFE

your absence will make

no difference.”

Why is it so easy to focus on the negative?

and the positive so hard to grasp?

Maybe we all need a “spa day”, it doesn’t need to be 

at an expensive place, it could be a 

walk around your neighborhood, 

taking a hot bubble bath, or a long hot 

shower. 

What about lighting candles, listening beautiful

music, or watching a old classic movie. 

Better yet, rising early in the morning

no matter the time of year,

opening the window shades

and enjoying the early light of day  

in silence.

Sitting in a 

comfortable chair in prayer, meditation, 

or with a blanket and warm cup of coffee.

Those conjure up happiness and positive

energy just listing them.

What about you? any simple thing that

will allow you to see and embrace the positive energy

instead of the negative?

Let me know what you come up with!

~Beth

New Blog Address

www.creatingbeth.com

ROOTS

i have been thinking about my family roots...my mom and dad...my grandparents...great grandparents etc..

thinking of how they got here, the hard roads taken and choices made that shaped their lives and unknowingly mine.

then i look at my decisions, long roads taken and how these brought me to where i am today...

the saying goes.."that hindsight is 20/20..."is it true?...yep!
i haven't met one person who wouldn't have jumped at the chance to change something they did or didn't do.

i love the song by the group "Room for Two" titled, Roots Before Branches. i love the lyrics..."gotto have roots before branches to know who I am before I know who I wanna be and faith to take chances to live like I see a place in this world for me."

that is exactly what i am thinking!!

my family roots are strong...maybe too strong sometimes...at those times i feel choked, unable to break free and find my own way...to tied down to tradition. then at times the roots loosen and allow me to ket go...fear sets in and i grasp on harder...why can't i just see the path...the path out of the woods to the clear...not clouded by roots? why can't i have faith and let go?

~Beth

STILLNESS

As I sit here in the stillness of the night and think about the events of the day and how they played out, I feel satisfied with how I made it thought today.

I made a conscience effort to have more patience and that did help a bit....not to say that I was at all perfect...because I wasn't, but it was an improvement from the previous day.

I am not a touchy feely kind of gal...I have trouble with patience and showing emotions.

Sometimes I wonder why I don't show more emotion...I am not a cryer...I consider myself strong, independent and a "get to the point, no bullshi*t, reality check" woman.

So what is it, within me, that doesn't allow me to show my emotions?

Why is it that I have to be so tough all the time?

Is it my upbringing with three older brothers being picked on all the time?

Was it being a young independent, responsible single mother? Was it marrying a military soldier that was deployed away from us at times?

What is the fear that holds me from opening up and letting go?

Not being in control?

What would be the worst thing that could happen if I opened up and showed my emotions?

Would I feel calmer and closer to peace? Would it in turn allow me to see my passion? 

Would I then realize that I am never really in control?

I think that sometimes because I am such an "in charge" controlling type of person that I don't allow myself to relax and just enjoy life, therefore allowing the allusive "peacefulness" to slip by me unnoticed. 

~Beth